Dana Stanley 00:00:00  One thing I’ve noticed about a Disney trip is that it brings out everyone’s true personality. Probably within the first 12 hours. Some people are snackers. Some are spreadsheet people. Some cannot stand being hot or they can’t stand waiting or sitting still. And I’m talking about adults too. Tiny, tiny kids. And all of this gets amplified when you’re traveling as a group, especially somewhere as hectic as Disney World. Today we’re diving into something I think about constantly when I’m planning for Disney, and that’s the family dynamics. Whether it’s your little family of three, maybe four, or an entire group trip, including the grandparents or maybe another family you’re friendly with. It’s a lot. And when you’re the one in charge of it, which I’m going to assume is you, it’s a lot of pressure to make sure everyone has a good time. But over the years, I’ve picked up a few little lessons that help things go more smoothly and make the trip feel more connected and memorable as a whole. So I’m going to share those with you today.

Dana Stanley 00:00:59  Hello and welcome to the Laid Back Magic Way podcast. I’m your host, Dana Stanley, creator of Laid Back Magic. As a mom of three, I know how tough it can be to find time to plan a Disney World trip that doesn’t leave you feeling stressed or overwhelmed. That’s why I’m here to help moms like you create Disney vacations that feel even better than they look on paper. Here we’re not chasing perfection, but creating our next favorite memories. So whether you’re brand new to Disney or looking to go deeper into the details, this podcast is your go to for simple tips, mindset shifts, real life trip recaps, and expert insights to make your trip magical and manageable. New episodes drop every Monday, so be sure to subscribe so you never miss a moment. Okay, let’s dive in. The cool thing about Disney World is that everyone has some kind of connection to it. Maybe not the theme park, but Disney in itself, and you can play a little bit of detective to find that thing.

Dana Stanley 00:01:56  You can ask yourself, how can I take this person’s favorite thing and then tie it back to our vacation. You know that feeling when you know that you found the perfect gift for someone and it makes you so happy? It might even make you feel happier than the person getting it. It’s the same thing when you find this little quote gift in their Disney trip. This is my favorite thing to do when we’re planning, and I’ll give you a few examples. So right now my daughter is very into Boba. If you listen to my Eleuthera episode, that’s like the number one thing that you want to do is like, can we please get Boba? Can we please get Boba? And I learned recently that there is boba in China and Epcot. So I haven’t said anything to her yet, but I am going to surprise her with stopping and getting a Boba, and it’s just going to make her feel special. It’s such a small thing, but knowing that her mom took the time to think about that, find it.

Dana Stanley 00:02:56  And I’m going to work that into our plans so it doesn’t feel like we’re going out of the way, and she doesn’t know that we’re going out of the way, but I know that she’ll appreciate that. Another example is my father in law loves key lime pie. So on one of our recent trips, I was torn between two restaurants Citrix, which is one of my favorites, and our sources at Grand Floridian. And to help me choose, I was looking at the menus and I noticed that Narcissus had a key lime pie on the menu for dessert. So that was the thing that kind of tipped the scale, and I ended up making a reservation there. I didn’t tell him about it beforehand. I didn’t say, hey, we’re going here because they have this amazing key lime pie. And truthfully, I don’t even remember if it was good. Key lime pie. I don’t know, we had the baby with us, so I don’t even know if I ate any, but it was just one of those little moments when he always asked to look at the dessert menu and he’s like, oh, they have key lime pie, and it just makes you feel like you nailed it.

Dana Stanley 00:03:56  He doesn’t know. But I know that we’re there literally, because I knew it would just make him happy to even see that there was key lime pie on the menu. And that tiny moment, that’s his little trip gift. Just like the boba or bubble tea. That’s her little trip gift. It doesn’t have to be this grand thing like a Bippity Boppity boutique or something like that. It could be something really small, like your husband is really into bourbon, or your sister is really into champagne. So you could just kind of start researching that one thing that they’re into already. It doesn’t have to be Disney related and fit that into something that you could do on vacation. This is really helpful if you’re going with someone that doesn’t love rides, you could figure out their favorite childhood movie and make sure there’s some kind of touch point there. There could be a show or a character meet, something that makes them feel that connection back to what they already love about Disney in the first place. Another thing I’ve learned that can be really helpful from when it’s just our family or extended family is to really go over the expectations.

Dana Stanley 00:05:02  And you might be wondering, okay, but like, what does that actually mean to like set up expectations. And it’s really two things. It’s being really honest and just communicating and putting it out there. That’s how you’re going to avoid hurt feelings or someone being disappointed. Just getting everyone on the same page. It could be just you and your husband or you and a friend, but go over the plans. Be specific. Unless you’re planning some surprise or something. There’s really no downside to oversharing the details. You may think like, I don’t want to overwhelm them, so I’m just going to keep it to myself. But I’m telling you, just overshare. You’ll be happy that you did. They may not know all the lingo or all the options, but you can ask them directly to. Is there anything you’re really hoping to do? Because sometimes people say, oh, I don’t care what we do. Like we’re just along for the ride. But then when they get in the moment when they’re actually on vacation.

Dana Stanley 00:05:58  You’d be surprised how much people assume, or even your kids will assume they’ll be walking by something, and you don’t want your heart to sink when they say like, oh, we’re doing that, right? Or are we going to do that later? Or we’re eating here, right? And you’re like, no, I. You didn’t tell me that you wanted to do that. So definitely ask if there’s anything that they’re even just assuming that you’re going to do. Be like, hey, give it to me straight. Even if you think that I already know. Like, what are you picturing? And then when you’re booking dining reservations or lightning lanes, just send them the plane ahead of time. You can let them laugh at you for your color coded spreadsheet. Sure, but I’m telling you, grandma might want to know that there’s, like, a nice dinner coming up and she wants to pack her cute shoes. And if something comes up later and someone is maybe disappointed or upset or caught off guard, you know, like, hey, I sent you the schedule.

Dana Stanley 00:06:58  It just takes that pressure off of you when you just send it to everyone. Now for the kids. You can do the same thing. It’s a little bit of a different beast because like, mine are eight, four and one. And obviously like that is a wide range when we’re talking about expectations and what even I expect of them. But over the years in our trips, I mean, they have really swung from one end of the spectrum to the other and back again. I mean, they’ve gone from really being scared of characters and not wanting to meet them. And like, right now they’re very in the characters. And of course, my daughters don’t ever like the same thing, which makes it really hard. One’s really into Mickey. The other one doesn’t really care. One’s into Star Wars, the other one doesn’t really care. Different movies. I mean, they have a pretty big age gap, so I have to really tell them, like, hey, we can’t do everything that both of you want to do.

Dana Stanley 00:07:52  We also have your little brother, so things are going to be a little bit slower. So with them it’s about setting realistic expectations. Like we’re going to try to ride this but it might break down. And if that happens we’ll try again. But you know what? If that happens there’s so many other things for us to do. Or hey, if we wait for this show, we might not be able to have time for blank, blank blank. Is that cool with you or would you rather do that? So basically it’s just that conversation of, hey, we can’t do everything and then adapt it to whatever age your kid is at. I mentioned that you are probably the one in charge, and that is good news, because one of the things that is really helpful for the dynamics of a trip is to just make one person in charge, if you want to call them the captain or the leader or the boss. But when you have too many cooks in the kitchen, or two people kind of taking the reins on booking, you don’t want to get to the airport and have one person say, oh, we have a Bibbidi Bobbidi Boutique at one.

Dana Stanley 00:08:56  And the other one says, no, we’re having lunch at 1:00. It can really be chaos. So be very careful about if you want to divvy up the tasks. Like you go over one list together and then you can say, hey, you were doing this and you were doing this, but I still think that one person should really be like steering the ship. That helps everyone feel more confident to you are going to take the brunt, or this captain is going to have to take the brunt of answering a question over and over and over. You’re gonna have to repeat yourself. That is the cross that you need to bear, but it will help everyone else feel better just knowing who to go to for an answer. I want to mention here that every adult should have their own My Disney Experience account, because if and when you do split up again, I’m talking about maybe like a large group or multi-generational, you don’t want to finally sit down with your margarita and be relaxing. And you get a text from grandpa like, hey, can you mobile order lunch for us? That is something where you want someone to be in control of everything.

Dana Stanley 00:10:05  But for the logistics and tech, they should be able to handle themselves. If you guys get separated and I think you should be able to split up, it’s okay to split up. This one took me a while to kind of embrace, but now that our kids are different heights and interests, I mean, obviously my one year old is not going to be able to get on rides on my eight year old is interested in, and the four year old is kind of like at that weird height where something she can ride and other things she can’t. So I generally like to stay together, but with Rider Switch and going back and forth with big rides, we have been doing it more. Where one parent can take the older kid, let’s say on flight of passage, while the other one will just do Na’vi River with the two little kids, So no one’s really missing out. The only downside is maybe one of the parents doesn’t get to do like, that slow ride with the kids because they’re on the big ride.

Dana Stanley 00:11:03  But we usually don’t really care. And if you’re in a big group, just make it known early. Like it’s totally okay if someone wants to go back to the resort and read or have a nap, or hang at the pool like it’s their vacation. Like I’m gonna make the plans, but don’t feel like you have to stick around. Like, I promise my feelings won’t be hurt. I feel like our family is very, very, very good at this because it’s just so many people. There’s no way that we’re all going to want to do the same things. We have such a wide range of like what people like in our extended family. So if you’re going to split up, I usually like, you know, hey, meet at the bus stop at eight, 830 and then just everyone knows where to be. We’ll do kind of our morning thing, have lunch, and then you can kind of check in like, hey, who wants to do what? I’m going to go back to the room with the baby and put him down for a nap.

Dana Stanley 00:11:56  Colton’s taking the girls to the pool. What does everyone else want to do? And then you can touch back for dinner or, like, another anchor of the day, like, hey, we’re going to meet at this place at 6 p.m., like, see you later. And just because someone’s not following the whole schedule doesn’t mean that they’re not having a good time. Or you don’t want to say like, hey, I wish you had done this, it would have been better because everyone will honestly be happier when they come back together and have a break from each other, especially if you’re in like a bigger group when it’s just us and the kids. I’m the kind of person like I have no problem being, quote, stuck in the room during nap time. I prefer it. I like it. It’s like my downtime. I can maybe like read or I mean, sometimes I’ll even take a nap, which is rare, so I will take the opportunity to do it on vacation, whereas my husband can’t stand that.

Dana Stanley 00:12:50  Like he cannot just like sit in the room for two hours during a nap. So he takes the big kids to the pool, and it’s perfect because they kind of have like one on one time with daddy. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on anything and he’s just happy to not be quote, you know, stuck in the room. Nobody likes to talk about this, but I’ll just say it. Everyone’s going to have a moment, a meltdown moment. Even grownups, even the chill grownups actually, especially the chill ones, someone will get overstimulated or someone will get too hungry. That’s always me. I get so grumpy when I’m hungry. Especially, I mean, toddlers. I don’t have to tell you that they’re going to have a moment, but when you know how your people and you handle things like that, you can kind of build in these little buffer zones. So for us, I always include some downtime, even if it’s like a couple hours. And not only are these quiet, more chill times, but really, what qualifies this is that no one has to make a decision during this time.

Dana Stanley 00:13:54  That’s really my gauge for if I’m relaxing is if my brain can just turn off for like two hours because Disney is fun, but it’s also a lot like, I can’t even imagine the amount of split second decisions that we as moms are making normally, and then on vacation and then in Disney. So here’s what you can do when someone, your spouse or your kids start to melt down is to try not to match their energy. And I am saying this from a place of not that I am able to do this, but just to try to stay calm and just not escalate the situation by also having a meltdown. Then just take a break. Even if it, you know, quote ruins your plan. Sit down, grab a snack, Neck, you know, take a bathroom break. I try to like, do, like a list of things when I notice my kid is starting to act funny. Or I can just tell that a meltdown is about to happen, like, okay, do they need water? Like, sit down, grab a snack, like skip the lightning lane if you have to, cancel the dining reservation.

Dana Stanley 00:15:10  If you have to go back to the room, don’t feel like, oh, like, of course they would have a meltdown right before XYZ. It’s just not worth it. Another thing that helps is to just kind of say like the elephant in the room or like the obvious thing, like, I think we’re all tired or you know what? That line was a lot longer than we expected. Or hey, like, let’s go to get ice cream. I see ice cream over there. Let’s not decide anything for ten minutes and see how we feel after we have ice cream. Just saying that can take the tension down immediately, and you can have things in your kind of like little toolkit, Especially if you have, you know, kids that get very overstimulated. You could bring their headphones or like a show that you know, that they like stickers, like maybe something comforting from home that works at home to calm them down. And maybe you need a break too. So hey, I’m going to go run to start.

Dana Stanley 00:16:08  Can I just go to Starbucks real quick or I’m going to go for a walk around the resort. Just let someone else take the reins for 15 20 minutes. I already said the cool thing about Disney is that there’s really something for everyone, but that doesn’t mean that the same Disney everyone remembers is still there. If someone hasn’t been in 1520 years, they might be surprised that, you know, like Splash Mountain is gone. Tiana’s Bayou Adventure is here. Toy story has a whole land. Star Wars has a whole land. That’s why I think it’s really fun to prep ahead of time, especially if you have, like, these big age gaps. Like maybe watch some of the movies together before the trip that one or somebody else hasn’t seen. So maybe the grandparents haven’t seen Inside Out to yet. Or maybe your kids don’t know what Fantasia is. You could have a little pizza night, watch a movie, get everyone a little bit more excited together before you even head down to Disney. All right, friends, that’s what I’ve got for you today.

Dana Stanley 00:17:16  The truth is, Disney trips are never going to be just about the parks or the rides and the things that you do. They’re about the people you’re with and all of the dynamics that come with it. So whether you’re planning your first trip or your 20th, I hope this helps you walk in with a little bit more confidence, especially if maybe you’re planning a unique trip where it’s a larger group than normal. Or maybe your kids are older than last time. I know that you are the best person to handle all of these dynamics and give yourself more credit than you are, and more patience with yourself too. If you loved this episode, don’t forget to follow the show. I have a new episode every Monday and you can come say hi over on Instagram. I’m at somewhere worthwhile, and if you’re listening to this and feel like you want more support from me, you can join Laidback Magic at the link in the show notes. All right, I’ll talk to you next week. Thank you so much for joining me on this episode of the Laid Back Magic Way podcast.

Dana Stanley 00:18:20  If you enjoyed today’s episode and it was helpful for you, it would mean the world to me if you’d write a quick review. Your reviews help more moms like you find the show, and I read every single one of them. Seriously. Thank you in advance. You can find me on Instagram @somewhereworthwhile and I’d love to hear from you there. DM me if you have any questions about this episode or what you’d like to see in future ones. Until then, keep planning for your next favorite memory and I’ll see you next time.